Git out my way.

Walking through the mall always makes me contemplative. I think about conformity, sheep, and lumberjacks. But mostly I think about order.
Interrupting my thoughts of sheep cloning, a woman shoved a clipboard in my face calling me "mam'n" and robotically inquiring as to my voting status. Me, personally, do not care what a petition is for, I will sign it. I do not care if it is for a law that demands all children be imprisoned by the age of 5 and must exercise good behavior in order to leave prison. I love our America and love being a part of the law making process. Plus you know that the petitioners love to lie to you. They say things that sound good. They say, "this petition is to get rid of all taxes". But they don't tell you that the downside is that all Americans will become slaves to the citizens of Beijing. So it really doesn't matter. I ended up half listening to this woman speak shortly but passionately about national parks or some crap. After I scribbled down my social security number, the password to my email, my bank account number, the the three digit security code on my credit card, and my debit card pin, I handed the woman back her clipboard and walked away feeling very patriotic and such. When all of a sudden "Bitch, watch wear youz walkin'!" comes out of right field. This (I am sorry, there is no other word to describe her) ghettofied young lady (who I assume was the one who shouted at me) pushed her baby's stroller so that the left front wheel bumped the back of my right heel. I mentally paused. Wracking my brain for something to say to this obviously uneducated woman and her future inmate of a child. But I couldn't, I couldn't think of one thing. All I could do was let the adrenaline and the small amount of testosterone I possess rage through my veins and rape my heart and brain as I caught the last part of a conversation she was having on her bedazzled nokia. "Yeah, uh huh, just walkin' thru da mall... uh huh and some lady just jumps right in front of me. An' I was lyke, Bitch!". I continued to entertain the thought of strangling this woman for hours after that.
That is the problem with people like me. We never react to assholes. We just let it happen. When someone takes our parking space or bumps into us walking down the street, we never say anything. Instead... we blog.