Commercial Moms

I wish every mother, or every parent for that matter, could be more like the moms featured in commercials. They never get angry. EVER. On numerous occasion, I have witnessed commercial moms walk into a completely destroyed kitchen; pots and pans befouled and stacked ceiling high, chicken juices on the walls, child/dog feces smeared on the granite countertops, a bonfire alight on the stove, and amidst the mess; a shrugging husband. Just standing in the middle of the definition of chaos-gone-biohazard with nothing more than a look befitting a person who forgot to pick up gran-gran at the airport.
But no matter. There is never a situation too insurmountable, a mess too ridiculous, for commercial mom. All she needs for this mess is one tablespoon of Dawn Dishwashing Soap, Lavender Field Scent and half of a sheet of Bounty: The Quicker Picker-Upper. In less than five seconds she is standing in what looks like a model kitchen at Ikea, hands on hips and a mildly pleased expression on her perfectly un-sweaty face. Then the aryan kids burst in the back door, donning soccer attire with a labrador named Max at their heels. Mom found time to clean up the formerly condemned scullery and found time to make chocolate chip cookies! None for Dad, though! Hahahahaha! Thank god for fantastic cleaning power of Dawn combined with the almost magical absorbency of Bounty.